The Roadshow So Far
by Makawao
Summary: Sam and Dean become unwitting guests on Antiques Roadshow.


THE ROADSHOW SO FAR

"Sam, this is stupid. Why are we here with all these people and their junk? This is worse than Bobby's house. We have to find Crowley and destroy his first blade. We can't both have _first_ blades."

"Oh, sure Dean. And you have a lead on Crowley? What? Oh, that's right, you don't. Crowley dumped you after your terrible karaoke binge and now he's gone. Garth did a lot of research for us and he said that this guy Leigh or Leslie or something is the big expert on ancient weapons. He's here somewhere, so we're gonna find him and find out if has ever seen anything else like _that_," Sam said, pointing toward the first blade Dean was gripping.

"Dean, just follow my lead. I've did some research on this place, I think I know how it works. We just stand here and wait until this Leslie guy or Leigh or whoever tells us it's our turn. Then he'll inspect the first blade and give us some advice.

"Great. You don't even know his name."

Suddenly the Winchesters were shoved ahead to a podium and a thin hand swiftly took the first blade out of Dean's grip.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean spun around to see what happened, but there were bright spotlights blinding him.

"Uhhh…my. Well. What do we have here?" The appraiser looked nervously between the hideous yellow-toothed first blade and the disheveled Winchesters.

Sam stepped up. "This is a big kind of toothed knife, Les…Leigh. We need to know if you have ever seen another one like it."

"No!" the appraiser exclaimed. "We certainly have not. No. Not ever. Nothing like this. EVER. I don't even-"

Suddenly another identical appraiser darted out and stood between the Winchesters and the first blade.

"Shapeshifter!" Dean lunged for the first blade but the identical appraisers jumped in to protect it. Sam looked in the monitor and could see that the identical appraisers' eyes were normal.

"Dean," Sam whispered toward his brother, "it's ok, I think they are just, like, really really alike. Like twins alike. They're human."

Dean calmed down but looked uncomfortably back and forth between the two identical blond appraisers in plaid suits.

"I'm Leigh and this is my brother Leslie. And how much did you say you paid for this…toothed knife?"

"We had to make deals with the King of Hell to grab it from the bottom of the o-" Sam punched his brother in the side.

"Dean! Let me try."

"Well,_ Leigh_, we got it…at at an estate sale, in…Lawrence. It caught our eye, its uniqueness seemed very…ah, unique. And my brother here had to have it."

"And how much did it cost?"

"My soul" Dean said. Sam punched his brother even harder.

"He's just kidding. We paid $100 dollars for it.

"Well, let's take a closer look. And please stop punching. You are both making me very uncomfortable." The quieter of the blond twin appraiser gently lifted the first blade off the velvet display.

"Well, there seems to be some discoloration here," and touched the tip of the first blade with his finger.

"Oh, it comes off. It…it seems like …dried blood! Eh! Ah, well. That's wonderful! So authentic." As the twin brothers inspected the first blade, Dean grew more and more uneasy. Finally Dean couldn't take it anymore.

"Here! Let me hold it for you." As soon as Dean picked it up, the Mark of Cain on his arm began to glow. The twin appraisers both noticed it immediately.

"Well, now, Leigh. What do you think? Will that strange glowing effect add to or hinder the resale of this piece?"

"Well, Leslie. At auction, something like this might go for…well, I am not sure it would sell at all. But for insurance purposes, I would estimate this big toothed knife's value at between $200-$300. I mean, it is hideous. But for just the right collector, this could add some much needed color to a knife _or_ animal paraphernalia collection."

"We don't want insurance, we need to know if you have ever seen another blade like this one." Dean continued to grip the blade.

The twins shook their heads and the Winchesters started to walk away.

"No nothing like that. Sorry. The closest thing we've ever seen belonged to that cocky Scottish guy…what was it? An ox jaw blade? But nothing made out of an ass jaw like yours."

Sam and Dean squinted out into the bright spotlights. "_Crowley_!"


End file.
